A Match Made In Mischief
by StarryKnight46
Summary: Fred and George set Hermione up with Ron to make Cormac McLaggen angry. Ron discovers a new fondness for girls with chocolate colored eyes. Formerly titled "The Hook-Up"


TITLE: The Hook-up

PLOT: Fred and George hook Ron up with Hermione to make Cormac McLaggen mad. Ron suddenly realizes that he has a fondness for girls with chocolate colored eyes.

DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K. Rowling, and I don't pretend to be, so the characters in this story do not belong to me.

WARNING: This will only make sense to people who have read the Sixth Harry Potter book, and I do know that Harry and Ron are supposed to be fifth-years but McLaggen comes in book six.

SHIP(S): Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny

MAIN CHARACTERS: Fred, George, Ron, Hermione

Fred grinned evilly at George. "Go for it."

George sneaked up to Hermione and tapped her on the shoulder. She wheeled around. "What?"

"Come here."

George herded Hermione over the table in the packed Gryffindor common room. Fred came a few seconds later with Ron.

"Okay," began Fred. "Can you guys help us?"

Ron and Hermione nodded, bewildered.

"We're trying to make that prat, Cormac McLaggen, jealous. You know how he's always hanging around Hermione?" Hermione nodded. McLaggen had been following her everywhere, hinting heavily that he wanted to go out with her. He had asked Fred and George to help him get Hermione, but Fred and George despised him for acting stupidly during the Quidditch match. Far from helping him, the twins were keen to get rid of him. "Well," George said, cutting Fred off. "We were thinking that the only way for McLaggen to leave Hermione alone is if she were going out with someone else."

Ron butted in. "Wait a minute. You're trying to hook me up with Hermione?"

Fred nodded and said, "But if you won't do it, go on being bothered by McLaggen and see how you like it when we hook her up with someone else."

Unable to think of a retort, Ron fell silent.

Hermione said, "Wait. What'll we have to do?"

"Start small," said George. "You ward of McLaggen, Ron will come up and ask you out, and you say yes. Easy."

Neither Ron nor Hermione seemed to think it was easy at all.

Seeing their stunned faces, Fred added hastily, "You don't have to make a show out of it. Just make sure McLaggen is watching."

Ron nodded, looking somewhat happier.

Hermione said, "Well, what if there are lots of people watching?"

"Do it in the common room. McLaggen will be there and there will be no Slytherins to make snide remarks."

Hermione, too, looked happier.

They decided on the next day. "Oh, and we're going to tell Harry, as well. He's still not happy about the Bludger incident."

Harry stared at George. "What do you mean, you're hooking Hermione up with Ron? They'll become embarrassing! It's obvious they like each other!"

Fred shrugged. "So? Small price to pay, if it ticks McLaggen off."

Harry had to agree that Fred had a point, and so he wasn't quite as nervous.

In truth, Harry kind of wanted Ron and Hermione to start going out- it would stop their bickering, which was an improvement every day.

He punched Ron in the arm during Transfiguration. "So, when are you doing it?"

"I think tonight," whispered Ron.

"No good," replied Harry in an undertone. "Quidditch practice, and I want to watch McLaggen get humiliated."

"No, they cancelled practice, remember? It's storming too badly."

"Oh yeah."

The two carried out this conversation for a while, when Ron asked, "Harry… how do you ask a girl out? I've never done it, I was under Felix Felicis when I was dating Lavender."

"Just ask her if she plans to go somewhere, like…the Hogsmeade trip is next week." "Brilliant."

They walked up to Gryffindor Tower after dinner, gave the Fat Lady the password (_Animus_) and entered the common room. It was loud and happy, full of the chatter of well-fed people. Ron's insides flipped as he watched McLaggen sidle up to Hermione, breaking the very animated conversation she had been having with Ginny. He asked her something that Ron couldn't hear, and he was surprised to feel little pangs of jealousy surging through him.

_Come on, idiot. You don't have to pretend to be jealous if you're only going to go out with her to make him mad, _he thought.

Hermione shook her head at McLaggen. Looking grumpy, McLaggen slumped off and started staring at her reproachfully.

"Do it now," hissed Harry to Ron. Taking a deep breath, Ron walked up to Hermione. "Do you want to go to that next Hogsmeade visit with me?"

He talked low that only Hermione and McLaggen could hear.

Hermione giggled- he wasn't sure if it was false, just for the acting, or if it was about the ugly look that suddenly took over McLaggen's face. She nodded, winking.

_Phase one is complete,_ thought Ron happily.

Just seeing the murderous look on McLaggen's face was worth anyone overhearing. He walked as casually as he could back to Harry. Somehow, he couldn't explain the feeling he had, like he was going to raise a few inches off the floor. Harry noticed nothing- he was too busy snorting and trying to keep a straight face, looking at McLaggen's stiff profile. Ron glanced back at Hermione, who had gone back to chatting with Ginny, a grin across her face.

_You know, _said Ron to himself. _She's kinda cute when she smiles like that. _

Another voice broke into Ron's mind.

_Whoa. You **did not **just use the word 'cute' to describe Hermione!_

_I think I just did._

_You think she's a stuck up know it all! She can't be cute if that's what you think of her!_

_Well, maybe she isn't really that stuck up anymore…_

_Of course she is!_

_She's so beautiful, though._

_What? You're making no sense!_

_She is!_

_She's just your **friend**. Friends don't talk about each other this way!_

Ron battled with himself like this for a few minutes, with one half of his mind convincing himself that Hermione was just his friend, but the other half (he suspected it was his heart) was convincing him that Hermione was quite cute in his eyes. Fred and George finally saved him from this awful debate.

"Good job, guys. I paid that little fourth-year, Colin Creevey, to take a few little photographs. He got five Galleons and a roll of colour film, so you can actually see the rather unappealing shade of burgundy on McLaggen's face."

The next week passed too quickly for Ron's liking. Just yesterday, it was Monday and he didn't have anything to worry about for the whole week. Then it was Wednesday- where had the time gone? Next it was Friday- two days till the Hogsmeade trip. Then it was Sunday, the day of the trip.

Ron woke early to find that there was a light fluffy layer of snow covering the grounds. Opening the window, He stuck his hand out to test the temperature. It wasn't too cold, only enough for a warm coat, hat, and mittens. He heard Dean get out of his four-poster on the other side of the room. The rest of the fifth-year boys followed.

Ron was slightly nervous at breakfast. Harry was too- he was going with Ginny, and had never been to Hogsmeade with anyone besides Ron, Hermione, and Cho. Harry didn't really want to go anywhere near Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shop this time, but, then, Ginny didn't burst into tears at the mention of her old boyfriends. Hermione didn't want to sit by Fred and George, who were nagging Ron about the Hogsmeade trip (Ron had told them, and they thought it was brilliant until they had a slight inkling that Ron might chicken out), so she was sitting a few seats away with Lavender, Parvati, and Ginny.

Ron met up with Hermione in the Great Hall after they had dressed for the snow that was falling lightly to the ground. Hermione was looking rather nervous, and she was blushing a little bit.

_She's kind of cute when she's nervous, _thought Ron.

_You did it again, _said the snide little voice in Ron's head.

_She is, though!_

_If she were in Slytherin, would you feel the same way?_

_Hermione, a Slytherin? You must be joking! I can't even imagine that._

Ron decided to stop thinking- the snide little voice was winning, so he said,

"Er…where do you want to go first?"

Hermione looked at him. "I don't care."

"Honeydukes?"

"Sure, why not?"

So they headed for the sweetshop. Ginny was dragging Harry off to Madam Puddifoot's, and Harry seemed to be fighting to get away. Eventually, he stopped struggling, looking resigned. Ron stifled a laugh. Inside Honeydukes, it was bright and cheery. Both Ron and Hermione noticed that there was a new section- Muggle sweets. Interested, they both went over to that section.

"What are Kit-Kat bars?" Ron asked Hermione.

"Oh, they're like rectangular cookies covered in chocolate."

"What about Whoppers?"

"They're malted milk balls covered in chocolate."

"Is every sweet in the Muggle world covered in chocolate?"

Hermione laughed. "No. Like that one."

"What's a ''?"

"It's like sponge cake filled with cream."

Ron asked about every single candy, from Snickers to M&Ms, from Nut Rolls to candy canes. He was particularly interested in Everlasting Gobstoppers, and was confused as to who Wonka was, but Hermione cleared the matter up for him. He was slightly disappointed that they weren't really everlasting ("But," as he rightly said, "That would be magic.") but bought a box anyway. They ended up buying one of everything. Laden with sweets, they made their way down the street. Hermione decided that they ought to find Ginny and Harry, so they went to Madam Puddifoot's. They didn't find Harry and Ginny, but Hermione wanted to stay for a while, so they sat down at one of the lace-covered tables. One of the workers, dressed all in pink with a white lace apron, brought them tea, and they proceeded to drink it. Ron was a bit disgusted and just a tiny bit embarrassed that everyone else was kissing, and decided to leave. They were still trying to find Harry and Ginny, but they didn't have to wait long. Harry and Malfoy were standing in the middle of the street, wands out, duelling. Ginny and Pansy Parkinson were in a catfight, wands forgotten. Ginny seemed to be losing the fight, but she was still putting up an enormous effort, punching and kicking every bit of Pansy she could reach. Hermione, out of instinct, pulled out her wand and sent the Papula charm at Malfoy. His usually pale face was instantly covered in horrible, angry red acne. Groaning in agony as the pimples burned his skin, Malfoy fought to keep fighting, but to no avail. He cast an ugly look at Hermione. Pansy dropped Ginny and followed him. Harry ran to Ginny, who lay on the ground. When Pansy dropped her, she'd broken her ankle. He helped her back to the castle.

Ron couldn't help thinking about Hermione, and the fiery glint in her eyes when she cursed Malfoy.  
_Stop thinking about her, _yelled the snide voice in his head.

_I can't! She's so beautiful, _Ron protested.

Hermione suggested that they go and see how Ginny was doing.

Madame Pomfrey had mended her ankle in a heartbeat, but insisted that she stay the night. Ginny didn't want to, but Madame Pomfrey wouldn't hear of it. So Ron and Hermione found her, slightly grumpy, sitting upright in bed. Hermione had cleverly made a get-well card from thin air (she had been taking practice lessons with Professor McGonagall), which she handed to Ginny. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stayed until evening, talking and laughing, until Madame Pomfrey shooed them away. Fred and George came over to talk to them in the common room. "How did it go?" "Good. We didn't see McLaggen, though." Just then, McLaggen came up to Hermione. "Can we talk?" Ron grinned and Hermione said, "Er…okay." They climbed out of the portrait hole Grinning, Fred pulled four Extendable Ears from his pocket. Harry got his invisibility cloak, and they followed McLaggen and Hermione out of the portrait hole. They emerged just in time to see a bit of bushy brown hair whip into a nearby classroom. Fred handed each of them an Extendable Ear and they listened.

"What were you doing with Weasley in Hogsmeade?" McLaggen said angrily.

"That's none of your business!" retorted Hermione.

"What did you do?"

"Why do you care?"

There was a silence. Then Hermione shouted, "Get away from me, you freak!"

"Hermione, I-"

"I said, get away!"

Fred and George were doubled up with silent laughter. Harry was fighting to keep a straight face, and Ron bit back a laugh. They pulled the Extendable Ears out of the door and tiptoed back to the common room. Upon entering, they went to their table and, unable to hold it in any more, burst out laughing. The laughing didn't stop for about ten minutes. Hermione came in, looking furious, along with McLaggen, who had a slap mark across his face. He looked grumpy.

"What a nosy git," fumed Hermione as she joined Fred, George, Harry, and Ron. Ron was thinking again, even though he had told himself that he shouldn't think about Hermione any more than was necessary.

_McLaggen just tried to kiss Hermione. How dare he!_

_You just don't like it because she's your best friend,_ said the snide voice again.

_Yeah, right. Then why do I keep thinking that she's beautiful?_

_Because you're being thick._

_I am not thick!_

_If you're using the word 'beautiful' to describe Hermione, then you are 100 thick. Or insane._

_She is, though!_

_NO SHE IS NOT! _

"Are you okay?" asked Harry.

"I'm fine!"

"You sure don't look fine."

"I am," insisted Ron.

The light February snow turned into the harsh storms of March, which in turn gave way to the pleasant April showers. Ron and Hermione were still infuriating McLaggen, if not rather reluctantly (Fred and George were telling them what to do, whether it was Hermione pretending to be cold and Ron giving her his jacket, or the two of the walking hand in hand down the corridor where McLaggen happened to be. Ron couldn't help but notice how warm her hands felt.) Each day, Ron battled with himself about Hermione, and each day, the snide little voice was running out of things to say. One day, Ron decided to tell Harry about his feelings for Hermione and what to do. He grabbed Harry by the arm after Defence Against the Dark Arts and said, "Can I have a quick word?" Looking puzzled, Harry nodded. They found a nearby classroom, checked it for Peeves, and closed the door.

"Right," said Ron determinedly. "Don't laugh. I think…I think I might be in love with Hermione."

Harry snorted.

"You said you wouldn't laugh!" said Ron indignantly, blushing.

"Sorry, but," Harry choked, "It was kind of obvious."

Ron's stomach dropped a few inches. "I was?"

"Well, not really obvious. Not so obvious that Malfoy noticed anything."

Ron sighed with relief and said, "Well, I need help. How do I tell Hermione how I feel?"

Harry pondered this for a moment, then said, "Well…I think the right approach just might be the truth. Ask to talk to her after class and just tell her straight out."

Ron looked suspiciously at him. "You sure?"

Harry grinned. "Would I give you bad advice? _I _don't want you and Hermione to have another row. I'm not Fred and George, you know."

Feeling as though he had just pushed something that was roughly the size and weight of an elephant off his chest, Ron thanked Harry and they left the classroom.

The next day, Ron put Harry's plan into action. He tapped Hermione on the shoulder after Charms and said, "Hermione…we need to talk." Wondering if this plan could possibly work, Hermione followed him into another Peeves-free classroom. Ron faced Hermione.

"Okay, Hermione. I think…I think I love you."

Hermione looked taken aback. "Fred and George told you to do this, right?"

"No really, I-"

"Ron, don't pretend. You're not that good of an actor."

"Hermione, believe me!"

Thoughts were whirling chaotically in Ron's brain.

_Please believe me, Hermione!_

_I really do love you!_

_Really I do!_

_Pleeeeeeeease!_

_You said yourself that I'm not a good actor!_

Hermione was looking extremely uncomfortable.

"I just- I don't like you," she said, although Ron could tell that she was trying to convince herself. "I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you!"

She was backing away, wishing, rather then believing it to be true.

"I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I-"

No book Hermione had ever read could have prepared her for what happened next. Ron grabbed her shoulders and kissed her. He felt a sharp intake of breath. And then, Hermione relaxed. Even though the kiss probably only lasted a few seconds, it felt like several sunlit centuries. Eventually, they broke apart, due to their need to breathe. Hermione stared at him, and then started sobbing.

"I love you," she whispered as she buried her face in his shoulder. As Ron held her, he could think of nothing- his mind had gone curiously blank. And the snide little voice didn't interrupt once.

McLaggen, however, did.

"Good going, Weasley, you made her cry." He stomped into the room.

Hermione pulled herself together at once. "Go away, you annoying prat."

McLaggen dropped the angry face, which was replaced by a very unconvincing look of hurt. "Excuse me?"

"Get out of here before I curse you!" Hatred flashed through Hermione's soft chocolate eyes. Sulking, McLaggen left the classroom. Ron looked at her incredulously.

She grinned. "I wasn't finished, okay?"

"Start where you left off."

Hermione took a deep breath and began.

"I think I've loved you ever since you knocked out that troll to save me. When you were mad at me in the third year about Scabbers, I was devastated. When you were dating Lavender, I was so angry I couldn't be in the same room as you two without retching. When you hadn't thought to ask me first to the Yule Ball, I was hurt, so I accepted Viktor's offer to make you jealous."

Ron couldn't believe that all these things were pouring out of Hermione's mouth. His brain was roaring in triumph, all thoughts extinguished. Hermione continued.

"When you offered to help me with Buckbeak's trial, I was ecstatic. When you sacrificed yourself in chess to help us move on, I was scared for your life, yet I admired your determination."

Feeling distinctly hot in the face, Ron said,

"I love you, but I don't deserve you. You need better than the likes of me."

"Why?"

"Well, I've always been so rude and grumpy when you did something better then me. I was cruel to you when I saw you and Krum together at the ball. I've almost never sent anything except vicious insults your way when I was angry, even if I wasn't angry at you."

Ron's brain was screaming, _NO! NO! NO! That's not what I wanted to say! I had her for about five minutes and now I'll lose her again! Hurry up and make changes!_

Before he could speak, Hermione smiled and said, "Maybe I don't deserve you. But I want you, and that's the only thing that matters."

Ron grinned as he blushed bright red.

"So…how'd it go?" Harry said in a whisper.

"Good…but that's an understatement."

"So my plan worked?"

"Let's just say Hermione and I have set aside our differences."

Ron lost no time in telling Harry (in a whisper, of course) about Hermione, her confession, and how he almost spoiled the whole thing.

Harry let out a long, low whistle. "You do belong in Gryffindor. I could never have kissed someone like that."

"Don't flatter me."

"No, seriously."

The next day, Fred came up to Ron.

"McLaggen's been telling us that he found you and Hermione kissing in a deserted classroom. Didn't seem too pleased. So, are the rumours true?"

"Um, yeah."

Fred snickered. "Well, at least McLaggen won't bother us anymore."

George approached them. "Well?" he asked Fred expectantly.

"True."

George grinned. "We didn't tell you to do it, but it was a great bit of acting."

"Oh shut up!" said Ron, blushing furiously.

"Operation Make McLaggen Jealous is complete," said Fred. He then added to George in an undertone, "But they're together now. _Real_ mission complete!" They left.

The next day, Fred approached Ginny.

"Can we have a word?"

"Sure."

He led Ginny over to a table and George came too, bringing Harry.

"Okay," said Fred. "We want to make Cho jealous…"

Heh! Can you guess where that unwritten sequel is going? Betcha can :D


End file.
